It’s the end of the summer holidays and the start of a new school term. Millions of parents up and down the country are preparing for their children to go back to school, for some parents this is a particularly big milestone as their child is about to go to school for the very first time. Within many households is bound to be a mixture of nervousness, stress and excitement during this special and unique moment in your child’s life.

As parents we understand that going to school is all part of a child’s journey through life, it is a rite of passage every child must experience. For some parents, the thought of being separated from their child can be overwhelming. In such instances, the thought of being away from your child can induce physical symptoms typically associated with anxiety such as butterflies in the stomach, inability to concentrate, nausea and bladder/bowel urgency to name a few. It is also common to experience catastrophic, worst case scenario thoughts relating to your child, which then fuels your urgency to be reunited with your child as soon as possible. Upon being reunited with your child you begin to feel calmer, happier and ‘whole’ once more.

This is an example of parental separation anxiety, this type of anxiety is not usually identified within mental health however it is a form of anxiety which health professionals need to begin to take seriously rather than labelling the behaviour and thoughts as ‘paranoid parenting’. Parental separation anxiety is a mental health issue which a large number of parents will experience at some in their lives, whether it is triggered by leaving your young baby with another caregiver for the first time or your oldest child leaving for university the same thoughts, feelings and behaviours will get triggered by a specific milestone or event which involves being apart from your child.

In order to feel able and equipped to cope with being away from your child here are a few tips in order to help.

Talk about how your feelings

Being able to open up about how you’re feeling in relation to your child being away from you is the first part of being able to own your feelings. When you speak to other parents about being apart from your child you will find that you’re not alone and other people have felt or thoughts the exact same thing as you are. This allows normalisation and validation of feelings.

 

Accept this is a temporary emotional state

Your current state of parental separation anxiety is a temporary emotional state and that it is not permanent. As you begin to adjust to the change in your daily routine and accept that you will be apart from your child for 6 hours per day is part of your child’s progression through life, your feelings of anxiety, sadness and longing will begin to gradually fade.

Keep yourself busy

The best way to manage anxious thoughts and low mood are to keep ourselves occupied, research suggests that the more active we are the better we feel about ourselves. If you plan in a good mixture of necessary, routine and pleasurable activities in your week then you are more likely to feel a sense of enjoyment and achievement from your activities rather than busying yourself with all the compulsory tasks and later craving time to do something for yourself.

When the time comes to take your child back to school remember that it’s going to be a day filled with mixed emotions for the both of you. The time apart will soon come to an end and you can look forward to hearing all about their first day at school. Be mindful that you both may feel pretty tired at the end of the day, making the most of the time spent together in the evening by relaxing is a great way to reconnect after such a busy day.