The summer holidays are usually a time for many young people to kick back, relax and enjoy a fun-filled summer before deciding on their plans for September; which could include starting college, university, gaining an apprenticeship or entering the world of work. All of the above can seem like massive steps for anyone to take however in the majority of cases A level and GCSE exam results day can dictate the next step.
For parents, this is an equally nerve-wracking time as all parents want their children to succeed, to have the opportunities and future that they never had. The hardest part for a parent is seeing your child struggle under pressure and suffering from stress and anxiety over exam performance. It’s perfectly normal for parents wanting to help their children overcome educational problems however by adding the incentive of rewards or gifts for achieving particular grades only adds to the existing pressure to achieve. When I was sitting my GCSE’s, many many moons ago, I remember some of my peers being promised cash ‘rewards’, a car or some other ridiculous prize for achieving the best grades. This pattern of conditional rewarding behaviour can have the opposite effect if a child does not perform to their parent’s standards, which can have a knock on effect on mood, self-esteem and ultimately can make the child believe they are not good enough to fulfill their dreams.
It is vital that as parents we do not pile on the pressure and assign terms and conditions to exam results and be mindful of how much stress our children are under when sitting exams. Here are a few tips for when results day arrives.
Acknowledge hard work
Young people can feel like they are sacrificing their lives to study and revise for exams, so therefore their hard work and dedication to studying needs to be recognised. You do not need to go over the top with praise as this will seem false and patronising to your child, just be genuine and authentic in the delivery of praise.
Celebrate regardless of the grades
As I previously said your child has worked hard to prepare for and complete their exams so on results day no matter what the outcome it’s a great idea to celebrate this milestone in your child’s life. This could be in the form of going out as a family for a nice meal, going for a day out somewhere your child would like to go.
Dealing with less than ‘ideal’ grades
If your child has not achieved the best results do not dwell on it in the moment, allow your child time and space to process their exam results. When your child is ready to talk about their feelings about their exam be prepared to listen, be supportive and provide reassurance. If your child needed specific grades to gain entry to a particular course of further study look for alternatives, such as studying at a lower level initially then working up towards their goal. This shows your child that no matter what their grades are there is always a way to reach their goals.
Respect your child’s career choices
We all want the best for our children however our ideas of what’s best does not necessarily match the child’s ambitions and goals. If you do not understand why your child does not want to go to university or college, have a calm conversation about it to see your child’s point of view. You may not think it is the right path however we must respect their right to make choices which help to grow and evolve into an adult.
This is a time of excitement, adventure and change in many households across the country however as parents we must allow this journey to begin. It’s okay to worry, to become upset or annoyed with our children and some of the choices they are making, however, we must be mindful that at one point in our youth we made choices and did things which our parents did not agree with. Acceptance is key in supporting our children on their latest adventure in life.